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Here's my All Purpose Prologue...suitable for sticking in front of any fantasy novel.



Prologue...or, the bit of the book you read when you're not reading the book.


My tale is set in our long forgotten and wondrous past. When Gaea, Mother Nature herself, was but a child...ever growing, ever changing. The Old Gods still strode the earth back then. Getting into this, meddling with that. (They had not yet sequestered their powers in Swiss bank accounts and retired to Florida or the Riviera due to lack of interest.) Good and Evil had once again chosen sides...and it was on for young and old.

If you didn't have an enchanted sword that detected 'undead', was good at killing giants and could do cryptic cross-words, then you were deep in the dragon droppings. If you didn't have a magic ring that made you faster than a speeding bullet, more powerfull than a locomotive and...hang on, that's Superman. If you didn't have a magic ring that made you invisible, allowed you to read minds and would give you the winner of the fifth on Sunday, then you had the proverbial snow-flakes chance in Hades.
Life was hard, cheap and usually short.
The average man in the street did it tough.
Just finding a street was no mean feat...and generally involved the extensive use of a crystal ball thingy AND, when you finally did find that cute little two bedroom cottage, with the rose bushes and the white picket fence, it would probably be a mud and dung hut. The rose bushes would probably eat your dog and the white picket fence would come alive in the middle of the night and head for the hills to have a chat with it's brothers the great oaks AND, your next-door neighbour would probably have way too many arms and eyes and Odin alone knows what would happen if you invited it and it's misses over for a friendly game of six-card argle-bargle.
Insurance premiums were at an all time high, there was no social security and TV wasn't even close to being invented yet.

My tale is set in the pretty dark times following the Overtime Wars of 'King Cul-de-Sac the Really Off' which came after the very dark times caused by the Pancake Riots during the reign of the Goblin Prince 'Hokey Pokey Headbanger' which were a direct result of the extremely dark times of 'No-Hope the No-Hoper' and which were forever after known by men as the extremely dark times of 'No-Hope the No-Hoper.
My tale is however set well before 'Lethal Weapon 12' or whatever Bette Midler is going to do next to try and resurrect a career that's obviously on the skids, despite what you and I might personally think about the contribution she can still make to the worlds of music, movies and entertainment in general.

It is into this pretty dark time that the heroes of my tale did ride. They came from the four corners of the globe...which is a damned good trick in itself. I studied a globe for a couple of hours the other night and i couldn't find even one corner, let alone four BUT, that's where legend says they came from, and it was a magical time and, like election time...all things were possible.

They were a likely bunch. (It was likely that they'd all be hung before their next birthdays.) But they had strength in their hearts, steel in their eyes and purpose in their stride. These things were theirs and could not be taken from them. Then again, they also had gold in their pockets, blood on their blades and some horses with doctored brands, and these things used to belong to some other drop-kicks that thought the same thing.

But, Fate is a fickle mistress, and none may know what she holds in store, and The Book of Life is a work in progress and none may know what the turning of a page will reveal...especially me, cause this is all i've written so far, but hopefully by the time you do turn the next page, i'll have thought of something.

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Whoo hoo!! You go DN!

Looking forward to the first chapter of the 'Generic Epic Romantic Action Packed Fantasy Saga'.

I'm already in love with number three of the likely bunch...

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Brilliant! Loved it.

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Thank you ladies.

Either you're the only two who read it...or the rest can't bring themselves to tell me what they thought of it.

Adios

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I did read it, DN, and it's actually up on the wall along with Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynne Jones. ">

I just loved it. Brilliant sense of humour.

At the writing workshop I attended last October, one of the first rules I was taught in writing a fantasy novel was: drop the prologue! This one seems to give all the reasons why there is such a rule!

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DN
I have only just read this post.
This from a man who has a wife, 3 kids and virtually no time to himself, can you imagine what he could do if he had time to write.( I can)
Conversations with DN can be such fun, but you have to be quick because what he has written is pretty much how his mind works
Brilliant mate
Milander

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Oh shucks Stew, you're only saying that 'cause it's true.

I can't believe I've never shown you this...you and I have gotsta sober up and talk more. No, screw that, your shout!

Adios

PS, do you remember The Werewolf...and if so, how do you think they'd handle that?

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DN

I laughed so much when I saw this... gosh it was so funny. Next time i am going to read it...

No, seriously, I enjoyed it at first read and have re-read it and its even funnier. God Job Dude. Now that the closest you are gonna get a compliment.

Oh and yeah... I agree with anything Manon said...

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DN, I do believe I perused The Werewolf, or parts thereof, a while back, at the other place. If I had a memory of which to speak I would offer my thoughts on it, but as it is, all I can say is... yeah, I read it once.

What did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said. I was standing there when I said it!

Edited by: LisaHy at: 11/16/02 1:11:06 am

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Strange as you dude...I was always the straight man of our dynamic duo.

Adios

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Ya got a point there

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I enjoyed the prologue DN, very much!

What wit you have sir.

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Oh I remember The Werewolf
I think they, the collective, would be able to appreciate it.
some of them sound nearly as strange as us

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Very good! Very funny! I take my hat of to you! (or, I would if I hd one on, but it's the thought that counts, right??)

Hehe, please! Write on!!

Satine