Australian Author - Fiona McIntosh

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Hot topic First Lines

#1 - 11th Jan 2008 07:50:00

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It struck me the today - the first line of Betrayal.

"Mild, cloudless and still. It was a perfect day for an execution."

What a great opening. Perfect weather - is this a celebration? (We find out later that it usually is of sorts, but not today - why not today?) Who's being executed? Why? What kind of people enjoy executions? Is it a murderer?

I thought it was also interesting that we start with Sallementro when he turns out to be a relatively minor character.

I as thinking about opening lines and flicked open a few books to for reference - this one stood out to me.

Anyone wnat to share their first lines from their novels in progress?

OK I'll put my neck on the block first:

"Most still prayed during this Age, the Final Age of Demythius. Only a few, who had seen their impending doom, lost faith in their Moshyne. Of the few, some succumbed to madness, others died upon their feet, bereft of their will to live. Those were the blessed; they never lived to see the Dawn of the Endless Night."

Well that's cheating a bit - it's my opening paragraph. Look forward to reading others.

cheers,

Darren.


Life is a containment field for thought. (A Slatz original.)

#2 - 11th Jan 2008 07:50:00

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"He had two choices. Give in to the cold hand of the river or drag what was left of himself out. It flashed through his mind in a fraction of a moment, before the afterbirth of thought, or memory, or rationalization. A lifetime hung in the balance as if newly born. He made his choice."

Tell me if I'm on fire.

#3 - 11th Jan 2008 07:50:00

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You're on fire, BB!!

#4 - 6th Sep 2002 19:44:00

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mine is

Jamal is dead.

Tears of morning dew ran down the marking stone.

#5 - 7th Sep 2002 19:35:00

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Ok, I'll put mine up, but keep in mind this is first draft. I need to work on the hook. That is to say, I need to get a hook in there. <img src=">

"Dr. Stephan Theravano pulled the brim of his top hat closer while dodging past a hansom cab, narrowly missing a bashing from the speeding black horse."

Brad.

#6 - 7th Sep 2002 19:36:00

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Brad

I have read that line before and liked it at the time... I won't restate my thoughts again, but yo know them.

For others... that line has almost everything... if you had a weather report in there it would paint an even stronger picture.

#7 - 11th Sep 2002 13:12:00

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Chapter one...Myrren's Gift.

Morgravia loved a witch-burning.


Or if you want to be really picky...here's opening line of prologue:

General Fergys Thirsk, a favourite son of Morgravia, began his journey into death as the tinge of a greyish dawn sluggishly stretched itself across the winter sky.

#8 - 11th Sep 2002 13:15:00

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p.s. and thanks Slatz for kind comment. That opening came into my head really quickly when I sat down to the write the story and even Sara D who reckoned I'd never get the book written said it sent a thrill through her (grin).

#9 - 11th Sep 2002 18:24:00

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I adore both opening lines... witch-burning tops it for me.

#10 - 12th Sep 2002 16:57:00

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BH

Very dramatic... and there is a change.... good openings do that...

Can you get a change of life with a death?

#11 - 12th Sep 2002 18:36:00

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What is it with Fiona and beginning a book with death?

#12 - 12th Sep 2002 19:58:00

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The grumble of not-so-distant thunder was now ominous.

I can't claim to have written it... but I did type it into the space provided myself.

#13 - 18th Sep 2002 17:37:00

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"As quaint little seaside fishing villages went, Slugport had all the picturesque charm of dried snot."

You asked... <img src=hrug">

Adios :hat

#14 - 19th Sep 2002 17:16:00

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Eh, I wasn't gonna, but what the 'eck...

First line of prologue...
“I was in a corridor, close and dark, like a cell. No, more like a cage,” she said.


First line of first chapter...
The small fairy battered itself against the glass of the window frantically, seeing the world outside of the shop but unable to reach it.

And I've just realised I switched between two spellings of fairy/faerie... must go rectify...

..............................
Life ticks, then you die
Asteroid B-612

#15 - 19th Sep 2002 17:36:00

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

#16 - 19th Sep 2002 17:36:00

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OK Soldier, the first one is 'A Tale of Two Cities' and the second one I only found after a search on the infernal machine, so I won't claim I knew that one.

Adios :hat

#17 - 19th Sep 2002 17:37:00

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A short time ago, I was favored with a flying visit from my
young friend Eustace Bright, whom I had not before met with
since quitting the breezy mountains of Berkshire.

#18 - 19th Sep 2002 19:06:00

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DN

I am surprised you even found tanglewood tales listed... way to go... well done. Notta lotta peepple know dat!

#19 - 19th Sep 2002 21:06:00

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Meanwhile, sitting in a dark corner of the Leprous Leprechaun...

Sorry, DN. Couldn't resist...

#20 - 19th Sep 2002 21:12:00

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Manon

I would be delighted to let you sit in my corner... anytime.